Well, it is Easter is here and lent is over. As we celebrate the life of Christ and the tragic tribulation and final ascension into heaven, I wanted to share a thought and feelings that I had earlier this week watching something on a TV that really got to me.
I was watching the show “House” from this Monday night. For those who don't know what it is, it's a TV show about a Doctor and his team who have to cure some of the weirdest things. Any ways, one of the team members who was on House's team shot himself. This hit me hard, mainly because I, over the past two years, have known what it is to feel like that. I have gotten that low due to the fact I feel like I have lost everything in life. I can't move my legs. It was this major event that dragged me down to that level. There where many days where I had wished that I had not have made it threw surgery because of what the alternative of parallelization posed to me.
Eventually, I got over that feeling for the most part. I do think about how things are now and how hard it is to do things when it was really simple before. It is hard to find the strength everyday to keep going. And that taking the easy way out would be the way to go. But I keep going. I know that there are some people have never walked and have had to deal with this all their lives. My argument to them is that they never know what they are missing out on if they never walked before.
Trying to get past that feeling was a hard and tenuous struggle at first, they tried anti-depressants. I gave up on those because of deep and abiding personal belief in facing and trying to deal with your problem rather that mask it, hide it, and pretend it's not there by medicating yourself. To try to hide the pain and sadness by using a crutch. If you don't face your problems, your problem is still going to be there and your are going to have to deal with it eventually.
Well guys, here was a little look into what it was like those first few week, and really the first months to year after surgery. Issue 3 will hopefully be in a week.